Election Day

 Today the Federal Australian government election reaches its crescendo, yes election day has finally rolled around and later today(or early tomorrow) the citizens of Australia will find who will lead their country for the next four years or so. Personally I'm not a particularly political person, I find the constant back biting, accusatory finger pointing and predictable denial associated will ALL politicians rather predictable and depressing. A look at the countless flyers posted through my letter box over the last few weeks all seem to read the same, regardless of the party posting them.  They all same to claim they want to reduce the cost of living, taxes etc but also seem to blame each other for causing the very things they say they want to change. I have voted in elections both in Australia and in the UK, but I have to see any elected party stick to exactly what they say they will do, or achieve the goals they so set themselves if elected (apart perhaps the first two governments under Margaret Thatcher, but I didn't vote in those elections as I had yet to reach voting age). It's all a bit sad really, each newly elected government seems to fail the country and break or forget their electoral promises then become hated by the populace only to be voted out due to a desire for change and only to be replaced by another lacklustre bunch but who in turn dismally fail at what they claim they will achieve. Perhaps I am jaded by what I have seen, I am just amazed others aren't so jaded and approach these election circuses with such excitement. Maybe it's partly the ingrained Australian fascination with sport at play - it's a competition, who will be the winner?

Interestingly, Australia is one of only a few countries in the world to enforce voting on its population, North Korea being a notable example of another. In Australia we are forced to vote on pain of a monetary fine (as stipulated by the Commonwealth Electoral Act 1918, subsection 254) although according to the Australian Electoral Commission this is an 'administrative penalty' not technically a 'fine', so in affect not much choice unless you consider the $20 administrative fee a charge for the right not to vote, hmmm.

This morning I duly went to my preferred polling station and after taking a flyer from every canvaser blocking my way (showing no preference with my polite acceptance of each) waited patiently in a long and slow moving queue under the Australian sun without shelter (Australians, like the British are excellent and well behaved queuers, the complete opposite of Italians for example, ask me how I know). My only real excitement was caused by my anticipation of the 'democracy sausage' that we as Australian voters have come to expect upon leaving the station. Sausage sizzles, as we call the cooking of copious sausages on portable barbecues outside shops or at events and selling them to the public in slices of bread with sauce and optional fried onions, are ubiquitous in Australia. These pork or beef delicacies are sold in aid of charity or local voluntary organisations, and have been a regular sight at polling stations on election day for years, but the term 'democracy sausage' was apparently only first seen (in social media, of course) just over ten years ago. The term stuck and now we look forward to rewarding ourselves with this symbol of Australian democracy. So as I was contemplating the thought of my sausage I began looking around for the where I could pick one up, I couldn't hear the usual distant sizzles I was used to nor smell the pungent, mouth watering aroma of barbecuing meat wafting through the gum trees... Then the people behind me in the queue started muttering darkly about the apparent lack of barbecues and queues of exhausted, hungry post vote voters waiting for their reward (in fact this was pretty much the only thing I heard talk about in the queue). It was at this point I knew something was terribly wrong, I had made a terrible polling station choice and sausage dreams were about to be shattered. 

So with apprehension I walked into the hall and after helping the AEC offical find my name in the endless pages of the electoral role, I struggled over to the cardboard booths laden with copious amounts of paper (the senate ballot itself being about a metre long) where I exercised my (compulsory) democratic right. As I exited the hall there was no sausage sizzle in sight as I (and others) had feared, so I sullenly walked back to my car contemplating a trip to the nearest Bunnings store where I knew I would not be disappointed in my search for some meat in bread (Aussies know what I mean). One consolation was that I knew I would sleep well in my bed tonight knowing that I would not be penalised administratively (this time).

It's Been How Long?

 How time flies. One minute it's 2010 and the next it's 2025. Nearly fifteen years between blog posts is pretty impressive even for me, I seem to have missed the part in blog class about engaging users by posting regular content. Reading my last post about the latest iPhone release (iPhone 4) brings home just how long ago this was. Then there is the post I made in 2009 about the prediction popular at the time, that the world would end in 2012, looking at my blog you would think it did. We would all agree that today's world is vastly different to that of when I was last posting, politically, financially and most importantly, culturally but, alas, these changes have not been for the better. World instability and political tension are now the main concerns. War has became the new normal after some years of relative peace. I would never have thought war in Europe would happen again, at least not in my lifetime. Maybe I was becoming less cynical in my old age, more trusting in humanity. What an idiot. The events of recent years have reconfirmed my initial stance on that subject, cynicism being the way to go to avoid disappointment in the human race's ability to screw itself over again and again, it's best just to expect it. 

However, now is not the time to dwell on such gloom. I will move on to more important matters such as my realisation, upon returning to this long ignored blog, that it's looking rather dated (and not just because how old the posts are). Maybe it's time for a refresh, drag the look into the 2020s, change the graphics, update the font, fix the broken links to sites that have not lasted the distance and post a bit more frequently about Melbourne and living here...

iPhone therefore iAm ? #2

Today the iPhone 4 was released in Australia. For my opinions on such displays of human covetousness please read my post of July 12, 2008. The queues were surprising considering the iPhone 4 apparently has reception ‘issues’ and doesn’t work as it says on the box. I think I’ll stick to my iPhone 3g for a while longer, until the issues are resolved (and I am out of contract). I’ll let the early adopters throw away perfectly good existing 3g iPhones and fork out massive termination fees for their breaking their contracts all so they can be the first (among thousands) to own the latest (partially defective) status symbol*.

*Written whilst shaking head in despair at the gullibility of the human race and its innate weakness in the face of rampant and strategic, manipulative, cynical marketing.

Wrong, Wrong, Wrong!

In this year's Australian budget $625 million was allocated for the environment. A noble course, and what you might think is a fair amount of money, until you look at the money allotted to sport - $1.2 billion. I am disgusted. Even for a country obsessed with sport (sport being, in my humble opinion, a pointless exercise to keep the unimaginative occupied) there is something manifestly and abhorrently wrong about this. As much as I like many aspects of this country, there is still a lot wrong with the attitude here. On reflection though, I imagine this type of governmental funding disparity is unique to Australia.

Aussie! Aussie! Aussie!

The Australia Day national holiday this year falls on a Tuesday, tomorrow in fact. A good opportunity for many to take a long weekend by having Monday off as annual leave. Not me though. I made the effort and went in to the office. In fact it’s a good day to do it. The trains are almost deserted and the whole city seems to be in a holiday mood.

As I write these words thousands of generation Y kids will be excitedly preparing their Aussie flags ready for wrapping around themselves tomorrow, making sure they have plenty of VB in the drinks fridge and using facebook to plan where to go to be loud, drunk and annoying with their friends.

I’m best off staying at home tomorrow I think… Luckily I have neither a large Australian flag or a desire to be insincerly patriotic in public.

The end of the world... Again

So December 21, 2012 is the end of the world according to Mayan legend. Actually the Mayan calender says no such thing, it is just that 2012 is simply the end of the cycle and after that it merely starts up again. My point is that any excuse is jumped upon these days for a good 'end of the world' panic. It must be something particularly deeply embedded the human psyche as it's been going on for centuries, leaving poor, confused and possibly disappointed believers still alive time after time. For example I was reading Samuel Pepys diary last night and came across an interesting entry, part of which quoted below:

25 November 1662

"Great talk among people how some of the Fanatics do say that the end of the world is at hand, and that next Tuesday is to be the day."

Obviously it wasn't as Pepys went on to write many more years worth of diary entries detailing his life (and the fact you are reading this blog) attests to the inaccuracy of the Restoration London doomsayers.

So why does this odd 'end of the world' phenomenon exist in so many societies? In my opinion it stems form a deep seated human insecurity about loss. Early man had little control over his world. Over time his power increased and his control has now become almost supreme (poorly managed, but supreme) yet still that archaic, instinctual fear of the dark remains, the only difference is now he just makes money out of it.

See you at the movies...

Victoria Stops...

Today is Aussie Rules Football Grand Final day. The whole of the 'footy' season has led inexorably to this point, the final clash between the two best teams of the year. Now I am totally and utterly unimpressed by any sport, especially the seemingly pointless running after a ball on some grass (either playing, as I was sadistically forced to by gorilla like P.E. teachers, at school, or watching it live or on the TV). However, I understand this actually makes me an aberration to the average Australian. The concept of a male who is not into sport is beyond many of them, and for the rest I defy categorisation.

Grand Final day is always on a Saturday and it is always interesting to be out and about in the afternoon (the game starts mid afternoon). Everywhere is deserted, it's like Christmas Day on Mars, there is not a soul about. It's a different story in the morning before the game of course, supermarket and alcohol retailers are awash with party goers and throwers stocking up on slabs of beer and meat for the inevitable BBQ's.

This afternoon I visited Bunnings (major hardware chain) which is normally packed with people buying home improvement paraphernalia and has checkout queues snaking for miles, but this afternoon, I swear I saw tumbleweed rolling down the bathroom fittings isle. The normally harassed staff members were huddled in groups looking forlorn and slightly confused by the lack of custom.

Back home the street were empty, the usual kids on bikes, the dog walkers, the cars driving past were all missing from the scene, it was weird and slightly unnerving, OK so it may have something to do with the fact it was freezing cold and intermittently pouring with rain, but undoubtedly the game is the main reason for the uncanny quietude.

So Grand Final day is a possibly one of the most important dates on any Victorian's calendar (except for me of course) and along with Melbourne Cup day 'the horse race that stops a nation' (which I have talked about elsewhere on this blog) it will grind the state to a virtual halt. Personally I prefer Melbourne Cup day as it's on a Tuesday and everyone in Melbourne gets a holiday, whether they plan to watch the race or not, now that's a sports mad attitude for you...